Saturday, August 20, 2005

Bringing Up Baby

I started a new mothers group when Baby G was three months old -- I knew it was important for me to be in touch with other moms, to talk about what was happening in my life, ask for advice, have G. exposed to other people on a regular basis, etc. Since I have never had a driver's license (how someone as independent and stubborn as I am has managed to reach thirty without getting a license is a long story) it was much easier to start a group of my own rather than try to get to an already established one. Besides, the women in my group have all just had their first baby within the past nine months, so we have a lot in common right there. And it's great to be able to pick just the women I think would be a good fit in the group. Did I mention I can also be very bossy?

Anyway, this week one of the things we talked about was raising our children. It seems that to be a good mother is to be equal parts physician, physical therapist, cognitive scientist, behavioral specialist, and nutritionist. Probably more that I don't even know about. And, my possibly- still-reading audience, I can tell you that I am none of these things. I worry that the type and quality of play is not right, the toys I buy Baby G. are wanting, that I should be doing more to encourage her to learn to sit up or crawl, etc.

The great thing about it (and this should come as no great surprise, I suppose) is that all of the other moms in my group worry about the same things. The books that we've read are not especially helpful and most typically the guidance we receive is to follow our instincts. We do, and we try to do our best with these babies, but who knows whether one hour of Baby Einstein in a day is better or worse than thirty minutes? What if G never learns how to roll from back to stomach and then back onto her back? Does it matter? I have no idea. The good thing is that she seems to be developing right on track regardless. Somewhere in the comments on Beth's site this idea emerged: maybe it's the worrying and wanting to do the right thing and the dedication to your baby's wellbeing itself that is the most important. The desire to be a good mother creating a good mother. I really like to believe that's true.


At 8/20/2005 11:22 PM, Blogger celeste said...'re bossy? You should be a teacher! I have a feeling that you're right when you say that they desire to be a good mom creates a good mom, at least when our resources do not limit us. But even then, showing a child that they're loved and wanted is the best gift, I think.

At 8/21/2005 4:26 AM, Blogger Yara said...

Celeste is right, well i think she's right, showing your baby that she's loved and wanted is the best gift. And I think that your intuitions will lead you to the right way. I really believe that.

You're probably a great mommy, I wouldn't know for a 100% cause you're not mine,:P

At 8/21/2005 10:02 AM, Blogger Carmi said...

Sounds like you're right where you need to be in the whole realm of Momdom. If only other mothers were as focused.

Dropped in from Michele's today. Lovely images and words.

At 8/21/2005 12:53 PM, Blogger Mama M said...

I agree with your final thoughts. You know your baby better than anyone else does and what your intuition tells you weighs far more than any stranger who has written a book can tell you. This I have learned after reading all of the major books out there :)

At 8/21/2005 12:56 PM, Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I agree with Celeste also. You have ideal teacher qualities.

At 8/21/2005 1:17 PM, Blogger The Torch Singer said...

Hi Laura,

Michele sent me.

I am 31 and I have no desire to have a baby any time soon. I have no idea how you do what you do. I commend you. It is a very brave thing to do. To have a baby.
I am sure that everything you are doing is PERFECT!

Nadia :)

At 8/21/2005 1:20 PM, Blogger Courtney said...

Hi there. Michele sent me.

At 8/21/2005 7:16 PM, Anonymous Cyn said...

Hello from Michele's. Nice pictures!

At 8/21/2005 7:18 PM, Blogger zazzafooky said...

I'm right up there with Celeste too. Desire leads to action.

You're doing great!

At 8/22/2005 7:39 PM, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

Sounds like a wonderful idea :-)

At 8/23/2005 10:48 PM, Blogger Laura GF said...

You guys are all so sweet. Thanks for all of your encouragement!

At 8/24/2005 5:04 PM, Blogger Future Daddy said...

This site will teach me a lot!


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