Sunday, October 09, 2005

Rough Patch

Today's been a pretty rough day, and that's not helped by the fact that it started before 5 a.m. This morning Gretel woke up very early and when I went to see her she just seemed off. She was upset and I brought her back to bed with me to nurse. Right away I was sure there was something wrong with her and she was having such trouble breathing. So much trouble, in fact that she couldn't really nurse at all -- she would try and pull away gasping for air. And it happened over and over again -- I was trying to let Joe sleep in today, but he was sleeping in the room where the aspirator and all of our baby care books are kept. So I went in anyway and together we tried to figure out how to aspirate her tiny nose, tried to figure out what we could do to make her less miserable.

All morning long she kept sneezing, her nose was running, she was so out of sorts that only glimpses of her ebullient personality shone through. In her seven and a half months of life, she has never been sick a day, and we watched her in disbelief. Somehow it felt like she just wouldn't get sick, which is crazy and I know it's crazy but it's just the only thing we've known from her. What struck me was how hard it was for me to watch her struggle, how helpless I felt seeing her unhappy -- and you know, she only has a cold. I cannot imagine what parents who have seriously ill children go through. I read up on RSV and researched how to relieve her symptoms and generally tried to coddle her. There's something about trying to help my ill child that made me feel more like a mother today than I have on perhaps any other day with her. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for her -- I love that girl so much and it is heartbreaking to see her have such a tough time.


At 10/10/2005 2:10 AM, Blogger War Eagle said...

I hope she starts feeling better. I have been sick with a cold all week. There is a bug going around.

At 10/10/2005 10:35 AM, Blogger celeste said...

I hope that she feels better too...I can only imagine how hard it must be for parents when a child is ill. I do hope recovery comes quickly for Gretel.


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